@clairerichard

I’m on a roller coaster. I’m about to write about something very personal. This is something I never, ever do. I vowed to myself that I would keep personal experiences and topics off of social media and blogs, but I’ve found in the past that sometimes writing it out can be somewhat therapeutic. Call me crazy. Feel free to bypass this post on your Dashboard.

Two weeks ago, my grandmother passed away.

I thought I was ready, and I thought I was prepared for the worst. I’ve had nearly two years to prepare, but nothing can really prepare you for the emotional roller coaster you get on when you loose a loved one. I’ve been on it before, but it’s a different ride every time.

I have moments when I just miss her.

I have moments when I laugh about her—never have I known a woman to love the color blue so much. Blue carpets, blue walls, blue glass, blue Christmas tree, blue tile.

I have moments when I’m just mad at myself for not being there more.

I have moments when I’m so proud and impressed by her. For going to college at a time when it wasn’t the most popular place for women to go. For being married to her husband for over fifty years. For having never gone to a doctor until she was diagnosed. For being so strong when she could have easily broken down.

It’s a roller coaster, but all we can do is ride it and remember the good things.